Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
People in love make me want to vomit
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
