I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize