You work out of a Hotel?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
