Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
