OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
