you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
