You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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