So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
