Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
wanna go halves on a baby?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
