If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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