Whod you bang
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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