Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Enjoy the penises
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize