Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
