In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we made out on top of his cat.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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