my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just found puke in my bra..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
