is your mom at the bar?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
