Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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