he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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