my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
