I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
