Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
