Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
