I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
