i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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