I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
