Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
