i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize