Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
