i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
