it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
