I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
