Dual....:-)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and she was petting her beer can
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
