But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
