My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
