Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
