i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
