If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
