After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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