Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
