it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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