Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
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