He told me they were just razor bumps!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
