i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
