Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
