I love having hate sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
