I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
