First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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