Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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