I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
