This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
