If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
