I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Screwed.edu
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
