There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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