had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
