i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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