she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
