So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
