I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
