I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
