I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
