well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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