I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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